Dearest Husband,
Today is your birthday. An ordinary birthday. No milestone. You’re young, but no spring break college guy with ignorance ruling your brain and other organs.
I’ve been married to you less than three years. I’ll be honest, when we said, “I do,” I thought that was when the short countdown had started that would tick off the seconds until you would stop being as awesome as I hoped you were.
You’ve done the opposite.
You’ve shown me what Christ’s love really is. Even when I’m feeling as though I am at my worst, you remind me that you love the snot out of me. That you think the world of me. And that you love me no matter how horrible and slow and emotionally wrecked I may be.
You’ve shown me what a best friend really is. My whole life, I searched for best friends who would accept me and be themselves around me as well. You are that person. You accept all versions of me: smart, ditsy, polished, grungy, creative, boring, goofy, serious, organized, flaky, grumpy, friendly.
I tell you these things all the time. I love that about our marriage. We can give one another what may feel like corny compliments. But those compliments help us to trust one another even more, since we both struggle to accept ourselves in our imperfections.
Even at your worst, you impress me. I’d say that you’re better than me when you’re at your worst. But you’d hate that I say that, denying it fervently. I am continually impressed at how you carefully, diligently, and lovingly join with me to handle conflicts, problems, and concerns. You’re the best teammate ever. And I trust you.
So, on this day, an ordinary birthday, I look forward to spending many more birthdays with you. Traveling with you. Attempting spontaneity with you. Seeking Christ with you. Laughing with you. Crying with you. Dancing in the kitchen with you. Making decisions with you.
Happy birthday,
Your Cute Wife
When I shared this daily blogging thing with The Husband, he thought it was cool. I mentioned today’s prompt (teach about something you’re good at) and asked him what he thought I should write about. He said “Love and Respect.”
Have you ever heard of this concept? Actually, it’s a book, too. The concept is Biblical but also heavily researched. Basically, it’s this: While women need unconditional love, men need unconditional respect. Now, don’t go crazy. Respect does not mean we become doormats or barefoot in the kitchen with a baby on our hip. It simply means that we ladies uplift our husbands, speak highly of him, and actually like him. Not just love him. He needs respect the same way we need to feel loved no matter how royally we mess up or how horrendous we look without our makeup or how horrible we feel about ourselves.
This is not naturally easy for either of us. I struggle with respectfully suggesting things to him without being naggy. I mean, what man loves to hear a woman constantly telling him he’s doing a bad thing? My husband is fabulous, but men can sometimes struggle with sharing affection, aka, helping their wives feel loved.
So, what happens is called the crazy cycle. The wife feels unloved or the husband feels disrespected and, next thing you know, the couple is fighting– either for a while or for an extended period of time. Sometimes these problems run deep.
When a wife feels loved, she may be moved to respect her husband if she knows what that looks like. And a husband who feels respected will be more likely to express love toward his wife. This will become the energizing cycle.
Of course, both spouses need to be on board or this is difficult. If one spouse isn’t game, the other will have to carry the burden of going it alone until a change of heart occurs.
So, wanna know more? Read the book. Check out the website. It will change your relationships with everyone in your life. Father, mother. Brother, sister. Cousins, friends and colleagues.
But while this is simple, it’s not always easy.
This does require… talking . Which is difficult, you know. But find out how you can be his cheerleader. Find out how you can love her heart– not just her body. It will take work, but the rewards are far more than worth it.
The fact that my husband suggested that I write about this means he must feel respected by me. What a high compliment! This explains why he is so loving!
A while back, my lovely mother and I discussed God’s promises. Or, perhaps more accurately, we discussed the misconception of God’s promises.
You see, God promised He’d take care of us, His children. Forever. This pretty much means that we’re promised oxygen and food and clothing. Matthew 6.25 says “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”
So, in terms of this post, basic food, drink and clothing will be called cake.
In Matthew 6.25, we do not find a promise that we’ll always like the food provided. [Do you know me? I’m a very picky eater.] This verse does not promise we’ll have the top-of-the-line, high fashion clothing. Going a littler further here: Nowhere in the Bible do we find an explicit promise that we’ll have an impressive resume or all the shoes we could ever wear or scrumptious dinners every night of the week. God’s word doesn’t promise a new car or even your very own shelter.
All that stuff is icing. Icing on the cake.
I can think of endless examples of Christians who act as though God delivered on His promises when in reality He blessed the cake with icing, so to speak.
Cake may include any job which allows you to supply food, drink and clothing for yourself. Cake may include a car which allows you to get to and from your job which allows you to supply yourself food, drink and clothing. Cake may also include free lodging at your parents’ so you might maintain a car to drive to work so that you might make money to supply yourself food, drink, and clothing. Or cake may include a place of rest [like a home, apartment, or cot in a shelter] which allows you to rest so that you might effectively work a job in order to supply yourself food, drink and clothing. Basic concepts here.
My friends and I made some "dessert pizzas" last week. Cooke + icing + fruits! Sounds like God's gifts times infinity!
Icing is all the other stuff. A car with no rust. An apartment with actual pictures on the
wall. Yummy and healthy foods. The love of a Godly husband. Traveling the world. An iPhone. Eye glasses. Spring break. The Internet, complete with fabulous blogs [like this] and information at our fingertips and media which lets us keep in contact with friends and family near and far. A few pairs of matching shoes. Cushioned chairs in coffee shops like the one in which I currently sit. Waking up every day. Icing. Icing, I say.
Now, clearly, icing is not a bad thing. Icing is most definitely a gift from God. A gift! Have you ever eaten a cupcake without icing? Not repulsive, right? Completely palatable. Most, however, prefer to add some sort of icing: chocolate, vanilla, butter cream, etc. The icing simply makes it better.
I’ve quite a collection of icing. As discontent as I feel sometimes, the reality is that I am quite cared for by my savior. God has been so stinkin’ good to me and The Hunk. I could list my icing for pages and pages.
What about you? What is your icing?
Sweetly,
PS: I prefer my cupcakes without icing. This fact should not negate any previous posts.
No, I didn’t really just post this. I scheduled it way in advance. Actually, when I posted this, Christmas hadn’t yet peeked its lovely head. I was watching Gilmore Girls in a hoodie and jeans. As this post makes its official way to the world-wide web, I’m enjoying some beautiful traveling, the pictures of which you will enjoy eventually.
At any rate, I have a pic from my favorite spot.
I know you are surprised to find that this is my favorite place:
He’s so handsome. I love being in any location from which I can see Seth. Not because I’m incapable of being solo. Not because I’m one of those wifies–you know the wifies who eats, breathes, and drinks the idea of her husband. Because I’m one of those wives who loves to see her handsome husband, who loves to admire his dimples, and who relishes the way he looks back at her.
He’s the best. I’m his biggest fan.
Swooningly,
I love weddings. And, actually, so does my husband. No joke.
Last night, we attended the wedding of a dear friend of mine: Jeremy. He sang at our wedding. His wedding was beautiful.
I snapped this lovely shot with my phone at the reception, which reminds me of the neverending bond between a husband and wife. And I wish a neverending commitment for these two God-fearing children of God.
May God be your center; may He be grace through you to one another.
Love,
On April 15 and 16, Oasis Christian Community hosted a retreat focusing on biblical living–specifically biblical manhood and womanhood. Over the course of the next week or two, the messages from the weekend will be uploaded to the church website.
Check them out, won’t you?
Oasis Audio
You’ll find links to the audio, PowerPoints, and videos on the left side of the page. Please let me know if they are not there and I will do my best to redirect you to the new location if/when it changes.
Lovingly,
