Every morning, my Timehop app tells me beautiful, strange, and silly tales of my goings-on from years past. This morning, a text conversation was in my Timehop from a friend.
This friend had previously been my best friend. I probably would have died for her. A beauty, I became invisible to the males around but I didn’t mind because I loved her.
A few things happened. We came to different places in our lives. She began dating a guy, giving him all of her attention and time. I felt totally neglected and addressed the issue to no avail.
With great pain, I tried to hold myself together and continued living life. I prayed about the pain, the friend, the situation. I watched as her life got crazier, then less crazy. We both settled down with our husbands in different states and drifted farther apart. Nothing seemed to be resolved.
I think that, as females, we may, at times, wonder why we pour ourselves out for others when so few people return the favor. At least it can feel that way. Deep pain can come from feeling this neglect and disappointment.
And then great pain can come from not knowing how to mend the pain we cause. Because none of us are innocent. Not one.
And a year ago, this dear friend texted me. After about 4 years of silence between the two of us, we caught up a bit. Our words were superficial at first; I was happy to learn her husband and my husband share a deep affinity for coffee and that everyone was healthy. It was simple and sweet, but I was hesitant. Then she sent words that brought healing tears to my eyes.
She sent words with a clear heart of regret, sorrow–and a desire to mend bridges, heal hearts, and put our friendship back together. Whether she knew it or not, this part of my heart had not healed all those years. The beauty of texting is that I could play it cool while sobbing and celebrating and thanking Jesus and experiencing great amazement. And relief.
I often feel blessed that I have never experienced a heart-wrenching break up like so many girls experience. The Hunk and I have very little romantic relationship baggage compared to so many of the hurting couples who marry. But, in my experience, relationship pain had come from friends, not boys.
This friend’s words began in me a possibility to move forward, even if just cautiously.
So, this morning, I celebrate. I celebrate friendship as I try to be a better friend. I celebrate repentance as Jesus forgives all my failure. I celebrate healing–often the result of friendship and repentance.
And, this morning, I search inside my heart for the courage to be the friend I want to be, the strength to scoot outside this painful comfort zone, and the wisdom to be a good friend to others.
Psalm 31.24: Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!