I haven’t been a huge Christmas fan since I was a young girl. I’ve never been a fan of Christmas music because the songs always got so worn out on repeat in all the stores and radio stations. The season always feels rushed and full of obligations and so many times I feel pressured to buy gifts for people who I don’t know well enough to buy something thoughtful for them. If I’m going to get you a gift, I want it to mean something–not be a waste of money and time.
As is the case with almost everything else this year, this holiday season is different.
I spent my first ever Thanksgiving away from my family this year. It was brutal but I wanted to do my best to help stop the spread of this slippery illness.
And this morning my mom gave us encouragement to stay in Ohio for Christmas this year because the regret would be too great if we got sick or died so we could be together at Christmas. I cried, but I was also relieved that I don’t have to put that pressure on myself now.
To top it off, my sister had a miscarriage this week and I can’t even be there to just be there. It’s really what I do best–just sitting around and being present when someone is hurting.
But, aside from those incredibly sad and tear-inducing things, I’m finding so many intangible gifts during this 2020 holiday season.
Anyone else?
I’m feeling far less holiday-induced stress. I’m ordering my gifts for friends and family instead of fighting crowds at stores. I’m not feeling terrible when I turn down Secret Santa at work yet again (even though they have a virtual one, I didn’t feel so bad because I simply ignored the email; somehow, that eased my guilt). I’m not faced with a plethora of holiday treats to deny or choose from carefully at work and at church events. There aren’t a million and one obligations or potential obligations popping up all over the place in a whack-a-mole-esque manner that I feel like I have to squash.
Also, my oldest is almost four and he’s loving Christmas lights and singing Christmas songs and reading Christmas books and talking about Baby Jesus. So delightful. Our greatest hope is for him to know and love Jesus so we’re relishing the opportunities to talk about Baby Jesus with him. Watching him light up when he talks about Baby Jesus is seriously a joy.
I also get a lot more time to be home and look at my Christmas tree. I like it. It’s simple but lovely. And since we always take it down as soon as the kiddo(s) go to bed on Christmas night (our son’s birthday is the next day!), I’m enjoying a bit more time with the tree.
Could 2020 be a gift that we’re not seeing?
Maybe I’m alone in asking myself this question. Maybe I’m the only one who feels this way. That’s okay; it wouldn’t be the first time and it won’t be the last.
Could 2020 be offering us the gift of slowing down for once in our lives?
Maybe this year we need to focus less on the actual gifts and more on the people we have been given in our very home or small bubble.
This could be the year we decide to pare down some traditions that didn’t bring our families joy. Or traditions that were too expensive before we lost our jobs or had to spend more money on things that we didn’t plan to buy because of a completely unexpected global pandemic.
Staying home instead of traveling could be the very thing to help us recenter our focus on Baby Jesus who came from heaven to be born, live, and then die for us so we could let Him live as King in our hearts and not just a tangential concept that we think about for a few seconds every year.
I certainly hope there will never be another year where we’re having to choose to make these tough sacrifices without knowing for sure that it’s the best way to go and for how long we’ll have to sacrifice.
But in the meantime, I’m going to try to enjoy the very slow Christmas season, cook some delightful treats, play Rend Collective’s new Christmas album on repeat, and don my favorite pajamas as we celebrate the Hope who arrived and the Love who lives.
Join me?