Maybe you’ve heard of them. Unplugged weddings. Have you?
Unplugged weddings: A wedding where guests are discouraged from using cameras or smart devices with cameras during any or all parts of the wedding day.
In this amazing and glorious age of smartphones, social media, and cameras attached to everyone’s person, many brides are pushing technology aside for the most important beginning of their lives.
If you quickly skim through Pinterest, you’ll find a few different unplugged wedding methods.
- No pictures during the wedding ceremony only
- No pictures until after the first dance
- No pictures at all by any guests. At all.
I’m the first to admit that I love technology–taking pics everywhere I go and going social media crazy. But there is also something to be said for going off the grid for a bit. The Hunk and I have a media-free day about once a year. Media-free days are nice, detoxing, relaxing days. But brides across the country are requesting that their guests unplug for a bit and be in the moment.
How are brides letting their guests know about their unplugged expectations? Many are posting signs at their wedding, adding lines in the program, and even having their officiant announce the expectation at the beginning of the ceremony.
Time will tell if this is a trend or if unplugged weddings will stand the test of time. The big question is this: Why are brides opting for unplugged weddings?
Unplugged Ceremonies
Unplugged ceremonies are just what they sound like: a ceremony with no pictures taken (except by a photographer, usually) and no images from the ceremony can be posted to social media. Check out my Pinterest board dedicated to unplugged ceremonies.
A benefit to unplugged ceremonies is that all the guests are experiencing the moments with the bride, groom, and all the family and guests. Instead of watching parts of your ceremony through the smartphone screens. Guests are undistracted during the ceremony and can laugh when your groom forgets the line he’s supposed to repeat and cry when you gush through your self-written values.
Whether or not a bride and groom have a first look, the processional is a special time. I’ve heard numerous stories about wedding guests jumping in the middle of the aisle to snap picturess of the groom or the bride during the processional, completly blocking the view of the professional photographer for whom the bride and groom paid a great deal of money.
Imagine the disappointment of not having that moment delivered to you by your photographer because a guest was in the way; or perhaps a picture was taken but it is not something you want to hang on your wall becacuse of the smartphones in the picture. It has happened.
Unplugged through the First Dance
Some brides request that guests remain unplugged until after the bride and groom’s first dance. Of course, this doesn’t mean that guests aren’t plugging in during cocktail hour or in the parking lot after the ceremony.
Extending the unplugged element of the wedding day through the first dance has many of the same benefits, including guests being in the moment and enjoying your first dance, watching your dad shed a tear on the down-low and, if your dad is like my dad, wonder why he’s dancing strangely (because he re-broke his foot that morning). The same goes for your first dance with your new husband. You only get one first dance with your husband. If your uncle Bob is standing nearby with his camera, squinting at the back of it, slumped over with his shirt half untucked, it may be difficult for your fabulous photographer to capture an uninhibited picture of the two of you enjoying the moment that cannot be recreated.
As a photographer, I can tell you another benefit to extending this unplugged request through the first dance is to increase the likelihood of your first dance pictures being rock star awesome. The first dance is a special moment that cannot be repeated–not authentically.
Personally, this type of unplugged wedding is my favorite! It’s like the best of both worlds. Guests get to take pictures during the party, use your wedding day hashtag, and still be present during the most sentimental moments. If your photographer is awesome like me, she may even have a mid-day or early-evening image from the day posted to your Facebook page before you’re off to your honeymoon! People who weren’t at the wedding can swoon over the mid-day picture and then guests can post their rocking party pics to social media during the reception!
Unplugged through the Final Moment
Taking the unplugged idea to the maximum, some brides have a completely off-the-grid wedding, camera- and social media-wise. I’ve seen fewer of these weddings, but some brides do go for this. If you’re thinking of having this type of unplugged wedding, be sure to add on a second or even third wedding photographer so that the memories and all the fun can be captured from even more perspectives. Photobooths are a great way to let your guests capture memories from the fun night at the reception and still remain unplugged.
How to go Unplugged: My suggestions
If you’re considering going unplugged for your wedding, may I offer you some suggestions for making this happen?
- Post a sign at the entry of the ceremony location. Make it match the mood of your wedding day–fun, formal, rustic, or casual.
- Add a line in the program; mention that you’ve hired an awesome photographer to capture the moments and that you’d just love it if they were present dudring the ceremony or other special moments.
- Hire a shoot and share photographer–a photographer who offers an online gallery so your friends can view the images from your special day.
- Ask the officiant to begin the ceremony by asking everyone to turn off their phones and cameras, topping it off with a request for guests to be present during the special events that will occur.
- Check with your photographer to see if they have any special for having unplugged weddings. Some photographers will offer extras for brides who successfully have an unplugged wedding.
- Have a photobooth at your reception and possibly even during coctail hour. Guests have a ton of fun with these and I provide a link to the gallyer and upload my photobooth pictures the next day.
FAQ: Questions about going unplugged
Still, it can be tough bucking the ways of the world for your special day. Maybe you have questions. Here are a few you may have.
Will I offend some picture-lovers?
You might if you’re not careful. This is where it is important to think about how you state your hopes for the wedding day. I attended a wedding where the bride wrote in the program, “Get your camera ready!” on the same section as the processsional line. And, indeed, many people brought out their cameras for mass picture-taking. This is what she wanted. She loved it!
So, if you want the opposite, make the line–whether you put the line on a sign, in a program, or both–sound friendly but clear. You don’t have to be mean or harsh in order to be clear. Consider a short poem on a chalkboard for a fun touch or a scripted and framed sign for a more formal touch. At a formal wedding I shot, the minister was able to make the sentimate clear and formal and not a single guest bawked at the idea. This was great because it sounded very much like the minister’s idea–whether or not it was, I don’t even know! Ushers can also point guests to a posted sign as they hand out programs.
Do I have to confiscate cameras if people are using them at the wedding?
No. You absolutely don’t have to confiscate cameras or phones if people are using them when you’ve asked them not to. If someone is snapping unwelcome pictures, keep enjoying your day.
Put someone in charge of reinforcing you unplugged wedding with guests.
A day-of wedding planner is one of the best things you can do to make your day run smoothly. If you make your day-of planner aware of your desire to have an unplugged wedding, you can ask him/her to direct people to stop the picture-snapping. Day-of planners are great at being diplomatic while also encouraging guests to follow the bride’s expectations. Maybe even fill in your day-of planner if there are people who are exempt from this rule–like the parents of the bride and groom. Then, you can make your wishes known to these exceptional people directly, so they can still feel free to take a few limited quick pics but won’t set the tone for everyone jumping in line to interrupt your moments. You might also let your photographer know that you’re having an unplugged wedding and possibly give him/her permission to say something like, “Hi! The bride has asked that all guests keep their cameras put away for now,” with a big smile to any guest getting in the way of photography.
Is this even possible? Will people follow my wishes?
Unfortunately there’s no way to know for sure if everyone will follow your wishes. If respect were universal, this world would for sure be a better place. But I haven’t seen a wedding where this request was not honored. I know it has happened. People in my wedding photography network bemoan these disrespectful guests. Truthfully, your photographer has probably had lots of practice dodging these types of guests.
If you spend your day enjoying every second and put your day-of planner and wedding party on this issue, it will be fine. Anyone who is disrespectul enough to ignore your wishes isn’t someone you need to worry yourself with on that day, anyway. Focus on the important moments of the day; you’re married. No matter what goes wrong, the only reason to sincerely be upset about your plan is if you don’t actually get married. That would be a problem, amirite? 🙂
Unplugged: Recommended, but make it your own
In the end, your wedding day should be about you, your man, and the Creator who will be at the center of your marriage until death do you part. I always recommend unplugged ceremonies–both because it makes it easier for me to capture your wedding day and because it is great for guests to enjoy the day in person and not via a three- to five-inch screen. Consider how you want to interact with your friends and family at your wedding; focus on the memories and hire a kick-butt photographer to help you capture the memories so you and your family and friends can make the memories instead of worrying about capturing them.
I love you. Forever.