Book Recommendation: Love and Respect

Love and Respect

When I think back to when The Hunk and I were dating, I know that, without a doubt, the best decision we made as a couple was reading Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. Neither of us had previously experienced successful romantic relationships but we hadn’t failed miserably at being decent human beings.  We had friends and served Jesus.  But I’m telling you, for real, this book changed us. It changed how we related to one another, how we treated one another, and how we interpreted the way we were being treated. I highly recommend this book with the following single disclaimer.


Skim the first third of the book.

Seriously.  Have you ever read a book about improving your life before? It seems like all of them start out convincing you to buy the book.  The very book you have in your hands. I’m sure they have their reasons for writing it this way, but I was sold before I started reading it.  If you’re not, maybe read a bit and then start skimming as you become convinced.

Otherwise, this book is based on two things: scientific research and the Bible.  In fact, scientific research has been done to support the Bible.  Ephesians 5.33 says, “To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.” To some, this is a polarizing verse.  But the book definitely flushes it out.  Eggerichs explains how his research proves that the majority of men would rather be respected than loved and the majority of women would choose being loved over respected.  What he is clear to say is that this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t love our husbands or that we shouldn’t respect our wives.  He also flushes out what “respect” means and how it should be as unconditional as love is.

The second third and the last portion of the book reviews some practical ways to implement love and respect in a relationship.  This is, perhaps, the section of the book that a couple could read together and discuss.  I wish we’d start doing this earlier in the book, but we still benefited greatly from having an unstructured discussion on these two sections of the book.

After you read the book and realize its impact on your view of healthy relationships, go ahead and check out the Love and Respect Ministries.  If you’re single, check out Love and Respect NOW, a sister ministry which, as you might have guessed, is great for people who are not in a romantic relationship but would still like to learn about these principles–I mean, I wish I’d known about Love and Respect much earlier in my life.

Interested in purchasing the book? Consider using this affiliate link to make your purchase: Love and Respect

42/52: Books

Books.  We have tons of books in this house.  Seth’s dream is to have a library in our future house and I teach English language arts.  We’re not short on books.  In fact, here’s my always-a-work-in-progress, at-home reading stack.

I’m always reading the Bible.  I prefer the ESV version, primarily because the study notes in this version are fabulously awesome.  Right now, Seth and I are reading from Proverbs; it’s really helping me get some perspective concerning the way God values wisdom far above fools.

New at this pastor’s wife thing, I’m reading Beyond Duct Tape, a book about keeping our hearts as women in ministry.  I haven’t gotten very far into this book, yet; mostly, I’ve read about how we need to focus on our story as we consider our place and our testimony in ministry.

I journal regularly as often as I can.  I used to journal at least three times a week.  At any rate, this journal has Bible verses at the top of every spread.  I read the context of the verse then write 1) the explanation of the context, 2) how the verse/context pertains to me and then 3) a prayer concerning the verse and how it pertains to my life or the lives of others.

I’m reading How they Found Christ, as well.  Freeman pieces together the basic stories of some of the modern heroes of our faith, including C.S. Lewis, Cori Ten Boom, and Martin Luther.  These people didn’t necessarily write their salvation stories, but some of the stories are taken from other writings they completed.

Finally, I’m going through Erasing Hell by Francis Chan.  This book explains why hell must be real according to the Bible and the complications that arise from dismissing such an idea.  He combats other views on hell, including the view that we will all eventually be in heaven.

What are you reading at home?  Do you have separate reading lists or are you a one-at-a-time kind of person?  What does my book list say about me?  Notice any trends?


Resources for Women Seeking Godliness

God has spoken to me through so many books.  Any woman who is seeking to live in a Godly manner should delve into Christian books like mad.  Here’s a list of books that have helped me:

  1. When God Writes Your Love Story, Eric and Leslie Ludy
  2. Messy Spirituality, Mike Yaconelli
  3. Love and Respect, Emerson Eggerichs
  4. So Long Insecurity, Beth Moore
  5. Twelve Extraordinary Women, John MacArthur
  6. ESV Study Bible, God

There are probably more.  But these are obviously most memorable.

Happy reading,